There’s No Freedom Without Belonging

How Choosing Love Saved Me from the Illusion of Independence

“Freedom begins as an experience, not a slogan.” - Timothy Snyder, On Freedom

The American Dream is built on the power of choice.

And like so many others, I believed in that dream. I was taught that if I made the right choices, worked hard, stayed focused, built the right image, I could shape a life of freedom and success.

So I chose individualism.
I chose materialism.
I chose the illusion of control.

And for a while, it seemed like it was working. I was achieving things. Building a future. But I was also drifting further and further from myself.

I didn’t feel free.
I felt hollow.

I had bought into a version of freedom that promised everything and delivered nothing. A freedom that isolated me, numbed me, and slowly drained the joy out of my life.

It took me years to realize:
The most important freedom I have is not the freedom to stand alone. It’s the freedom to choose love.

To choose belonging.
To root myself in a community of grace.
To surrender the fantasy of self-made strength and rediscover what it means to be held.

That choice, the choice to be known, to be loved, and to love in return, didn’t trap me.
It saved me.

The Big Idea:

Freedom begins not with escape, but with shared responsibility.

A Deeper Kind of Choice

In On Freedom, Timothy Snyder argues that we’ve settled for a shallow, individualistic vision of freedom, freedom as the absence of constraint, the right to be left alone.

But that kind of freedom leads to fragmentation. It doesn’t build anything. It just pulls us apart.

Snyder invites us to reclaim freedom as something we become, not through isolation, but through participation. Not by avoiding others, but by living with intention, responsibility, and connection.

He names five forms of freedom, the first of which he calls sovereignty, but let’s use a simpler word:
Choice.

Real freedom begins with the capacity to choose your life.
Not just react. Not just consume. But to choose how you live, who you trust, and what kind of world you want to build.

And here’s the key: you can’t do that alone.

Becoming Human Together

You are not born free.
You are born dependent: into families, systems, and stories you didn’t choose.

But you are also born with something sacred: the image of God. The gift of free will. The ability to choose, to respond, to create, to love.

Your true identity is a beloved child of God.
God loved you first, creating you in God’s image, breathing life into you with dignity, purpose, and the sacred freedom to choose.

You were made by love and for love.
And love, by its very nature, must be chosen.

The Freedom to Choose Love

In the early church, baptism wasn’t a private religious preference. It was a public act of resistance, a decision to say:
“I belong to a different kind of kingdom now.”
Not one ruled by Caesar, but one ruled by Christ.
Not a kingdom of coercion, but a kingdom of love.

It was the choice to live with intention.
To take responsibility.
To build something beautiful together.

They didn’t just believe in Jesus.
They followed him.
And their freedom bore fruit, in shared meals, economic justice, mutual care, and radical hospitality.

The Church as a Community of Chosen Love

If freedom begins with belonging, then the Church, at its best, is a sacred space where that belonging is practiced and made visible.

It’s not a club you earn your way into.
It’s not a performance space for the already put-together.
It’s a community of chosen love, where the only requirement for belonging is that you are human and breathing and willing to take a step toward grace.

In a world that sells us curated identity and superficial connection, the Church becomes something radical:
A place to be known.
A place to be changed.
A place where you can bring your whole self, and be met not with shame, but with welcome.

This is what we mean when we talk about being a healing church:
Not a perfect place. But a place where the wounds are not hidden, and the freedom to heal is shared.

The Church should be where we learn to choose love—over and over again.
Not because we have to.
But because we can.

A Pastoral Word

If you’re struggling right now to know who you are or where you belong, hear this:

Your true identity is a beloved child of God.
God loved you first, creating you in God’s image, giving you the sacred freedom to choose how you live and love.

You were made by love and for love.
And you were made to choose love.

You were made to be loved in return.

Freedom is not a ladder you climb.
It’s a table you’re invited to.

And when you sit down, you bring your whole self, and you make room for others to do the same.

This is where healing begins.

Reflect

• Have you ever believed that “freedom” meant being totally independent? How has that shaped your story?

• What “ism” have you chosen in the past that left you more disconnected?

• What would it mean for you to choose love, and to let love choose you, right now?

Coming Up Next:

“Freedom Needs Room to Breathe”

(A reflection on Surprise and the grace of the unexpected)